- Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.
- Guys have feelings too. But like… who cares?
- Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
- Please don’t make me kill you.
- And your point is…?
- I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re ok now.
- Of course I don’t look busy… I did it right the first time.
- My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t!
- I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
- I’m not a complete idiot–some parts are missing.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather . . . not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
